Orginally posted on 11/7/07 on Cello Girl Talks:
Oh Lord,
I know that my worries will not improve my circumstances.
I know my current pains, will not be my forever pains.
I know You cry harder than I do.
I know Your plans are far grander than my dreams.
I know You "get it" when others don't.
I know You can put words to my sobs.
I know You are always faithful even when I am not to You.
I know all of this... and tons more.
Yet, why can I not feel it?
Why do I just feel so empty?
Why do I just feel so hopeless?
What can I do to bridge that gap between my head and heart?
Can I do anything?
Show me, Lord. Teach me, Lord.
I know You are the answer, but what part of You?
The Caring Father?
The Loving Husband?
The Faithful Friend?
The Just and Merciful Judge?
The Watchful Shepherd?
Which One will break through that barrier and connect with me now.
How can I embrace all of You, and give You all of me at the same time?
I guess I just have to do it.
I do!
I do, Father.
I do, Husband.
I do, Friend.
I do, Judge.
I do, Shepherd.
I do, God.
Whatever it is, I do.
I just want my head and heart to match.
So, whatever it is, I do.
Amen
Friday, August 8, 2008
Friendships... Are we true?
Originally posted on 4/13/08 on Cello Girl Talks:
As a single woman I feel as though I have a lot of "friends". Some of course closer than others. A couple of weeks ago I sent out an email to a bunch of my closest friends and co-workers asking for prayer for my mom. I mentioned that she was really sick, and I was really worried. This seems a normal thing to do. When trouble hits, I always want prayer to be a first reaction.
A couple of people who I have known for only a short amount of time contacted me, prayed with me, and followed up about my mother's condition. Those who saw me in tears gathered and briefly prayed with me while I was fasting and praying for my mother before her doctor's visit. Those were amazing times where I felt the hand of God speaking through my friends.
But, I was actually shock and disappointed at the reactions I did not receive from this email. There were many others who did not reply at all. No questions about what was wrong with her, no follow up as to how she is, and no "Tina are you ok?" I cannot lie, that hurt. Some who I saw as my close friends left me in this hour of need. Still worse were the couple of people who glossed over it, and in the same reply turned and asked me for something they needed from me.
I use this example as an instance in my life of not feeling loved and supported by some of my friends, but... I am more often on the other side of this circumstance. I admit... I am often a bad friend.
I think being single and the fact that my life decisions and daily activities only center around me makes me so selfish. (note: I not saying that all singles are selfish or that it is not possible to be married and selfish... just see this as a pattern in my life.) I know that with me it is so often out of sight out of mind. This is the sin I struggle the most with: being self-centered. I see emails come through from friends and prayer requests. I try to type out an email prayer or short response, but I rarely follow up with them later. Even from small group to small group, I forget the requests of the other members. It is true that caring is in the details. Good friends remember stuff about each other and look out for one another. I have some friends that I can tell you what they don't like on their sandwhich, but when it comes to their parent's name, I draw a blank.
How can I improve? Here are some steps I would like to take to be a better friend in future.
1. When I get a prayer request, set an outlook reminder to ask how the situation is in a few days or afterwards (if it is something like surgery)
2. Ask more questions... even take notes if I have to to better remember the details
3. Pray more for my friends... journal prayers and write down their names
4. Be more vocal of my expectations from communication, if I want people to follow up or pray with me, or check on me... put that in there instead of assuming people will do it
Those are just some first steps... I know the change really must happen in my heart and habits, in that order. As Jesus says,
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
I do not write this for any friends who I emailed that did not respond to feel guilty, but to show how that hurt opened my eyes and that I would like to ask forgiveness for my hurting you in the same way in the past. I do not lay down my life for you, instead I so often let it get in the way.
As a single woman I feel as though I have a lot of "friends". Some of course closer than others. A couple of weeks ago I sent out an email to a bunch of my closest friends and co-workers asking for prayer for my mom. I mentioned that she was really sick, and I was really worried. This seems a normal thing to do. When trouble hits, I always want prayer to be a first reaction.
A couple of people who I have known for only a short amount of time contacted me, prayed with me, and followed up about my mother's condition. Those who saw me in tears gathered and briefly prayed with me while I was fasting and praying for my mother before her doctor's visit. Those were amazing times where I felt the hand of God speaking through my friends.
But, I was actually shock and disappointed at the reactions I did not receive from this email. There were many others who did not reply at all. No questions about what was wrong with her, no follow up as to how she is, and no "Tina are you ok?" I cannot lie, that hurt. Some who I saw as my close friends left me in this hour of need. Still worse were the couple of people who glossed over it, and in the same reply turned and asked me for something they needed from me.
I use this example as an instance in my life of not feeling loved and supported by some of my friends, but... I am more often on the other side of this circumstance. I admit... I am often a bad friend.
I think being single and the fact that my life decisions and daily activities only center around me makes me so selfish. (note: I not saying that all singles are selfish or that it is not possible to be married and selfish... just see this as a pattern in my life.) I know that with me it is so often out of sight out of mind. This is the sin I struggle the most with: being self-centered. I see emails come through from friends and prayer requests. I try to type out an email prayer or short response, but I rarely follow up with them later. Even from small group to small group, I forget the requests of the other members. It is true that caring is in the details. Good friends remember stuff about each other and look out for one another. I have some friends that I can tell you what they don't like on their sandwhich, but when it comes to their parent's name, I draw a blank.
How can I improve? Here are some steps I would like to take to be a better friend in future.
1. When I get a prayer request, set an outlook reminder to ask how the situation is in a few days or afterwards (if it is something like surgery)
2. Ask more questions... even take notes if I have to to better remember the details
3. Pray more for my friends... journal prayers and write down their names
4. Be more vocal of my expectations from communication, if I want people to follow up or pray with me, or check on me... put that in there instead of assuming people will do it
Those are just some first steps... I know the change really must happen in my heart and habits, in that order. As Jesus says,
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
I do not write this for any friends who I emailed that did not respond to feel guilty, but to show how that hurt opened my eyes and that I would like to ask forgiveness for my hurting you in the same way in the past. I do not lay down my life for you, instead I so often let it get in the way.
The Quiet Simple Life
Originally posted on 4/16/08 at Cello Girl Talks:
It seems for a while I have been living the "quiet simple life". I have a group of friends I hung out with, a small group I see weekly, some weekends I volunteer at church, then others I just set a relaxed schedule usually by myself just not bothering anyone or causing wakes in the pond.
Some transitions happened in my life that moved friends away or me away from friends (how every you look at it). In this I have found myself doing more alone and being ok with it.
Last Friday night I was invited to hang out with some girls and watch a movie. I had seen this movie several times in the week before, but I went to see it again. It was so much fun. I had forgotten the joy of watching a movie with friends. How sad it that?!
Then tonight after the Jadon Lavik concert I went out with a bunch of folks from EPIC (our post-college ministry). Again... I had forgotten how much fun it is to go out and eat with a group of friends.
I realized that I have been so worried about burdening people with my presence, that I had forgotten what joy can come from sharing experiences with friends. How could I have gone so far that I forgot this?!
Is this common in the single life? Or is this a me thing?
It seems for a while I have been living the "quiet simple life". I have a group of friends I hung out with, a small group I see weekly, some weekends I volunteer at church, then others I just set a relaxed schedule usually by myself just not bothering anyone or causing wakes in the pond.
Some transitions happened in my life that moved friends away or me away from friends (how every you look at it). In this I have found myself doing more alone and being ok with it.
Last Friday night I was invited to hang out with some girls and watch a movie. I had seen this movie several times in the week before, but I went to see it again. It was so much fun. I had forgotten the joy of watching a movie with friends. How sad it that?!
Then tonight after the Jadon Lavik concert I went out with a bunch of folks from EPIC (our post-college ministry). Again... I had forgotten how much fun it is to go out and eat with a group of friends.
I realized that I have been so worried about burdening people with my presence, that I had forgotten what joy can come from sharing experiences with friends. How could I have gone so far that I forgot this?!
Is this common in the single life? Or is this a me thing?
Singles Ministry Through a Child's Eyes
Orginally posted on 4/25/08 at Cello Girl Talks:
Last night I was driving home from dinner with Marti and we got on the topic of singles ministry... SHOCKER, I know. :) We were talking about how churches could do a better job reaching singles. Sometimes the focus is so much on families, but it seems like the stastics are changing. People are getting married older and more marriages are ending in divcore. With the singles community and single parent community growing and hurting, why is that more churches are not jumping in and giving singles a place to land. A place that focuses on bringing them to health, first in their relationship with God, so that they can be in healthy community. We wondered if there was anything more we could do to help.
In the course of the conversation I started remembering back to a church I went to as a child. At the end of Sunday School row there was this one room. It was in the far corner of the building. I would have to pass it to get over to the other building where my youth group met. This room was always dark and the people were not smiling. I couldn't see why anyone would want to go to that Sunday School class. I remember asking once and was told "that is where people go if they are divorced". I remember a couple of other ladies being a part of my life as a child who were in their 20s or 30s and not married, but they were always teaching a youth or children's Sunday School. They would not go to that class. They seemed to always be giving, but never got and have since left the church.
Those were my observations as a child, but I wonder how true they would still be today in so many churches. I have a feeling many places are still that same way, but I don't know for sure. I hope to continue encouraging churches to reach out to the singles community in their area.
Just fyi... I totally agree that we should teach and build healthy families in churches. I do not think it is an either/or situation... instead it is a both/and situation. Singles are a family unit... they are just a family of one. With that comes different needs and it must not be ignored or looked over.
Last night I was driving home from dinner with Marti and we got on the topic of singles ministry... SHOCKER, I know. :) We were talking about how churches could do a better job reaching singles. Sometimes the focus is so much on families, but it seems like the stastics are changing. People are getting married older and more marriages are ending in divcore. With the singles community and single parent community growing and hurting, why is that more churches are not jumping in and giving singles a place to land. A place that focuses on bringing them to health, first in their relationship with God, so that they can be in healthy community. We wondered if there was anything more we could do to help.
In the course of the conversation I started remembering back to a church I went to as a child. At the end of Sunday School row there was this one room. It was in the far corner of the building. I would have to pass it to get over to the other building where my youth group met. This room was always dark and the people were not smiling. I couldn't see why anyone would want to go to that Sunday School class. I remember asking once and was told "that is where people go if they are divorced". I remember a couple of other ladies being a part of my life as a child who were in their 20s or 30s and not married, but they were always teaching a youth or children's Sunday School. They would not go to that class. They seemed to always be giving, but never got and have since left the church.
Those were my observations as a child, but I wonder how true they would still be today in so many churches. I have a feeling many places are still that same way, but I don't know for sure. I hope to continue encouraging churches to reach out to the singles community in their area.
Just fyi... I totally agree that we should teach and build healthy families in churches. I do not think it is an either/or situation... instead it is a both/and situation. Singles are a family unit... they are just a family of one. With that comes different needs and it must not be ignored or looked over.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
The Good Girl: A nun in street clothes
Originally posted on Cello Girl Talks on June 30, 2007:
From the author who brought you the opening chapters of "The Elephant's Ready... Let's get eating!" and the Famous Nuggets of Truth blog column now comes the opening ideas for her new book attempt: "The Good Girl".
Excerpt:
It seems like I have been a good girl all my life: a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend, a good employee, a good boss, a good Christian, a good girl. I hope to add to that list one day a good girlfriend, a good wife, and a good mother. As I think about it though I feel like a nun in street clothes, without the career stability. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying I am perfect, I am far from it. I have been bad on occasion, but overall I have toed the line.
The question I have to ask myself, is why have I been so good? It is because I was never presented some of the opportunities that caused others to be "bad"? I have never been offered illegal drugs. I have never had a boyfriend or guy ask to have sex with me. No one has even offered me a cigarette. People just all knew I was good and would say no. So though I cannot see the nuns clothing, I guess they can.
From the author who brought you the opening chapters of "The Elephant's Ready... Let's get eating!" and the Famous Nuggets of Truth blog column now comes the opening ideas for her new book attempt: "The Good Girl".
Excerpt:
It seems like I have been a good girl all my life: a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend, a good employee, a good boss, a good Christian, a good girl. I hope to add to that list one day a good girlfriend, a good wife, and a good mother. As I think about it though I feel like a nun in street clothes, without the career stability. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying I am perfect, I am far from it. I have been bad on occasion, but overall I have toed the line.
The question I have to ask myself, is why have I been so good? It is because I was never presented some of the opportunities that caused others to be "bad"? I have never been offered illegal drugs. I have never had a boyfriend or guy ask to have sex with me. No one has even offered me a cigarette. People just all knew I was good and would say no. So though I cannot see the nuns clothing, I guess they can.
Welcome!
Welcome to my new blog. I am Cello Girl Talks and started this blog to specific deal with issues related to singles and singles ministry. I pray God will use this blog to encourage other singles and those who have a heart for singles. My first set of entries are copied over from my personal blog.
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